hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize