Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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