I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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