you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize