just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
how drunk are you?
Several
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
