Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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