Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
