How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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