Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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