My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize