I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Green mimosas i think yes
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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