it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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