And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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