Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize