My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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