Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Randomize