I look better un-naked...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
