When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
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We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
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It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
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