So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
