her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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