I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
