So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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