if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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