that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
