We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
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want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
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Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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