I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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