I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
