Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
