I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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