Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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