Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
