"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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