i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
