Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
