You just made me feel so damn special
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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