They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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