I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
