You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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