Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
