So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
