you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just cropdusted the office
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
