To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
