I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
