i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
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apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
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Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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