is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
