I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize