Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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