It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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