Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize