Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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