how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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