to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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